What is it about money and having it or not having it that affects my mood so deeply.  Looking back over the previous months posts the highs and lows are related to how much is in my bank account or how much is in my company’s bank account.  I realize things are going to be hot and cold and yet, I can’t separate it in my head.  When things are tight, I feel like a failure and the hold of it weighs me down.  When we are jamming, I can focus.

There must be way to be ok without money.  To not tie it to success and failure in my head.  It’s one of the things that I like the least about me.